Judgement

"Never utter these words, 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge."

I am a mother and I'm doing what is best for my child. This sums up how I've been feeling over the past couple of days. Since becoming pregnant and bringing Bella in to this world, I have been judged. Judgement accompanies motherhood but sometimes it gets to be too much. I am able to accept constructive criticism, but being criticized and being judged are two different things in my opinion. Here are several issues I feel that I've been subject to judgement on (in no particular order):

Judgement #1: I didn't exclusively breastfeed for the first year of Bella's life.

Rationale #1: Bella is off the charts in both height and weight. She also is a very healthy child and has never been on antibiotics. But, if you really want to get into the details of why I didn't nurse Bella, it involved post-patrum complications for me and severe jaundice for Bella.

Judgement #2: We utilized several cry-it-out techniques in order to get Bella to sleep through the night.

Rationale #2: While we did follow her cues, we also nurtured her to the point where she feels comfortable enough to fall asleep on her own. Bella sleeps through the night, as do Ian and I. She also naps for nearly 4 hours during the day. We are a well rested and very happy family. Need I say more?

Judgement #3: We didn't co-sleep with Bella.

Rationale #3: We have a tempur-pedic mattress and umm, hello, it's called SIDS!

Judgement #4: I don't use cloth diapers.

Rationale #4: Pampers work just fine for us and I do a hell of a lot less laundry, I'm sure.

Judgement #5: I intend to keep Bella in the rear-facing position in her car seat for as long as possible.

Rationale #5: Keeping Bella as safe as possible is my #1 priority and I couldn't care less if her view of the world is a little skewed in the car seat. Also, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends keeping children in the rear-facing positioning until the age of 2.

Judgement #6: I've introduced Bella to whole milk prior to her 1st birthday.

Rationale #6: My child will be weaned to whole milk in sippy cups by her 1st birthday.

Judgement #7: Bella has plagiocephaly and torticollis, and as a result wears a corrective helmet and is in physical therapy.

Rationale #7: I have a petite frame, Bella was a BIG baby and I delivered her vaginally, all very common causes of each condition. Rather than ignoring the issues, we have chosen to correct the issues because it's in Bella's best interest.

I'm not trying to pick fights with people or spark the next great debate. I've been the victim of unnecessary judgement and it feels liberating to get this off my chest. No one likes to be judged, but it sure seems like people like to pass judgement. I will also take this as a lesson for myself, as I am certain there have been times in which I've judged people unnecessarily. I do what I feel is best for my child and I've learned to follow my instincts. Following your own instincts is often the best way to raise your child. I will never instruct you on how to raise your child, nor do I want you to instruct me on how to raise my child.

All of this being said... I am off to spend time with my very loved, very happy, very healthy, well-adjusted child.

Love always,
Ian, Kim & Bella

Back from Boca

We took a quick weekend trip to Boca Raton this weekend to visit with family and attend a memorial service for Ian's great-aunt who passed away in December. 


I was really looking for to the trip until I woke up Saturday morning. I woke up sick as a dog and felt awful! I laid on the couch and attempted to rest as much as possible before we left. I told Ian that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it, as Boca Raton is nearly 3.5 hours from here and I wasn't sure I'd last that long in the car. A guilt trip of a man driving across the state by himself with a baby in the backseat was soon laid and I was determined to go on the trip. Around noon we decided that I felt well enough to go and we hit the road. 


As the trip progressed, the worse I felt. Luckily Bella and I were able to take a nap for about an hour and we arrived in Boca Raton just before dinner time. We checked into our hotel room and rested for a bit. Ian and Bella then left with the rest of the family to attend a dinner at a cousin's house. I stayed behind in the hotel room and slept. I felt so achy and feverish, so my sleep wasn't very sound, but it was rest nonetheless. Ian and Bella returned just in time for Bella to go to bed, but since I was sick and unsure of what was wrong, we decided it was best for Bella to sleep in Grandma Ruth's room. Apparently Bella didn't enjoy her accommodations and woke up during the night. Ian and Bella attended the memorial service in Deerfield Beach on Sunday morning and Bella even participated in the service. She placed a stone on Aunt Helen's headstone, which is a Jewish tradition performed to let the deceased know you came by to visit them. Everyone returned to the hotel to pick me up and head over to a cousin's house for brunch. We visited with family that we hadn't seen since our wedding and we hit the road by early afternoon. Bella was an absolute angel in the car and we all survived our quick trip to Boca Raton. 


I'm happy to report that I'm feeling remarkably better, although I'm unsure as to what exactly was wrong this weekend. A 24-hour bug? Perhaps. The flu? Maybe. I guess we'll never know. I'm just thankful I'm feeling better.


We have a sleeping baby and a movie to watch, so I'd better get going. The upcoming week promises to be a very hectic but fun week. 


Love always,
Ian, Kim & Bella

BLAH!

After our night out last night, I feel BLAH! I only had a few glasses of wine and a pint of green beer, but I am paying for it today. I wouldn't say I was hungover, but I suppose I was just dehydrated and sleep deprived. After some non-alcoholic fluids and a nap, I was good as new. Thank goodness! 


We took Bella to Busch Gardens, and joined 1 million of our closest friends. Apparently Hillsborough County Schools had the day off and so everyone and their mother were at Busch Gardens today. Fear not, we found prime parking (not preferred, but prime) and ventured into the park for the afternoon. We patiently waited for snack time with the elephants, which Bella thoroughly enjoyed, as did I. Elephants are my favorite animal and I may or may not be pushing this love onto Bella. Despite the crowds and heat, we managed to stay hydrated and had a lot of fun.


After Busch Gardens, we joined our friends, the McGills, at a new Mexican restaurant near our neighborhood. The restaurant is called Luna's and it's super close to our house. I've heard good things about this place and it's been a long time coming, so needless to say, I was eager to try it. We ordered the steak, chicken and shrimp fajitas and I was honestly disappointed. Compared to our favorite Mexican restaurant, Sabor a Mexico, it couldn't compare. The atmosphere of Sabor a Mexico is much more authentic and the food is tastier. Not to mention the prices at Sabor a Mexico are unbelievable. I think we may return to Luna's due to its close proximity to our house, but will always prefer Sabor a Mexico. The company was fantastic at dinner and the kids entertained each other while the adults, sans me, indulged in gigantic margaritas. 


Bella didn't an afternoon nap so we returned home to put her to bed early. I will be following suit and dragging myself to bed. Today was a wonderful day and we truly enjoyed an extra family day. Nighty night y'all! 


Love always, 
Ian, Kim & Bella

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today is a day when everyone is Irish... and I mean everyone. It's fun to see people celebrating the occasion and dressing up in crazy amounts of green! Éirinn go Brách!

We had a playdate/birthday party in Apollo Beach this morning for two of Bella's friends. They happen to share the same birthday and so their moms decided to co-host a playdate/birthday party. The park was really nice, the weather was absolutely beautiful and the company was great. Bella enjoyed playing with her friends and I enjoyed socializing with my mom friends again. And Bella would like to wish her friends, Camden and Luke, a very happy 1st birthday!

After our playdate our new babysitter, Miss Ashley came over for the afternoon/evening. I briefed Miss Ashley on Bella's routine and her likes/dislikes and quickly left to run some errands. I went to Michael's and hit the jackpot. I found so much cute stuff for Bella's birthday party and I am excited to complete a few projects for Bella's birthday. More importantly, Bella's invitations are finished and are ready to be mailed! I am very happy with how they turned out and I hope our family and friends find them as adorable as I do. Miss Ashley worked late so Ian and I could join our friends Troy and Sara for a little St. Patrick's Day fun! After a few glasses of wine and a pint of green beer (yuck!) we returned home to a peacefully sleeping baby. Miss Ashley is a keeper and I'm so glad we found her! 


I really need to crawl into bed because I'm sure I'll regret staying up so late and drinking so much tomorrow, but hopefully not. Ian is off tomorrow and we've got quite a weekend ahead of us. Good night!


Love always,
Ian, Kim & Bella

Lunch Dates and Shopping...

Today Bella and I were back in our normal routine! We have been out of the loop for so long and it felt great getting back to it. Feeling "normal" is something we have forgotten over the last month or so and we are so thankful to be healthy again. Lunch and shopping with friends is something Bella and I like to do and we do it often. I guess it's what we do best! 


We had a lunch date with Miss Stephanie and Connor. We wanted to go to Joann Fabrics afterwards, so we decided to go to Cheddar's. This isn't my favorite place to take Bella, but I enjoy their food and it was close to our after lunch destination. Cheddar's isn't exactly baby friendly and the service we received today was poor to say the least. Despite these little setbacks, I think everyone enjoyed themselves and the kids were very well behaved. The kids were so well behaved, as we were leaving, a table of older folks complimented Miss Stephanie and I on how well behaved our children were. Naturally we smiled and thanked them, but it was a nice little boost for our egos to say the least. This isn't the first time we've been together with the kids and received compliments either... just sayin'. 


Very rarely do moms receive compliments from complete strangers. Usually the only thing moms receive are dirty looks and deep sighs. I know I've rolled my eyes at kids misbehaving in public and I've sighed many a sigh at screaming kids in restaurants. For all the eye rolls and sighs I've given, I don't deserve to receive such nice compliments from people. I'm sure I've received my share of eye rolls and dirty looks, but as a mom, you learn to take the good with the bad. 


Our trip to Joann Fabrics was not as inspiring as I thought it would be. I thought I'd find a bunch of cute stuff for Bella's birthday party but I walked out empty handed. Nothing jumped out at me and it was really disappointing. I plan to hit up Michael's some time this week, so perhaps I'll find some inspiration there. Bella's birthday party is coming together nicely and we're getting very excited about the upcoming milestone! 


Well, I'm off to bed because tomorrow we have a playdate/birthday party at the park and our new babysitter starts tomorrow. Wish us luck! 


Love always,
Ian, Kim & Bella

Serenity

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." 


Bella and her helmet... Bella and her torticollis... When will it all end? There does not seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel and it's so frustrating. Bella had her appointment with the orthotist today, as well as a physical therapy appointment. I left both appointments feeling very disappointed.


Our appointment with the orthotist went okay today. It wasn't good, it wasn't bad... it was just okay. The orthotist said that once Bella is a year-old we will probably only need to be seen once a month. Once a month is definitely better than twice a month but I am so ready for Bella to be finished. She is making progress in the correction of the asymmetry of her head, but she is progressing slower than if we would have began treatment earlier in life.


I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and I feel very frustrated with the progress Bella has been making in physical therapy, or lack thereof. Bella began physical therapy at the age of 6-months and has made little to no progress. It seems like every time she begins to make progress, she gets sick or something happens and her neck reverts to the tilt. Take this past month... Bella has been sick more than not and this causes her to revert to tilting her neck. I usually don't address the tilt while she sleeps when she is sick because who wants to be stretched and manipulated when they're already sick? And she's getting older and it makes the stretching exercises even more difficult. She fights me when I try to stretch her and it's down right violent at times. She will often throw her head back and she has actually caught me off guard a few times. She screams and cries and it's a miserable experience for both of us. Sometimes it's more trouble than it's worth. The physical therapist mentioned a neck collar of some sort that can help correct her tilt. The only problem is that she can't wear the collar and the helmet at the same time, so we have to wait until she is finished wearing the helmet... Grrrrrrrrrrr!


I'm really frustrated... I'm frustrated that all this wasn't diagnosed until she was 6-months-old and I'm frustrated that she is not progressing faster. And apparently, I'm not the only one who is frustrated. Today, after speaking with a family member, I was grilled on Bella's progress and basically told to obtain a second opinion. This family member thinks Bella's head shape is fine and the helmet should be removed and that she should be finished with physical therapy by now. I tried to explain that while Bella has made progress with the helmet, progress will be much slower because of her age. I'm not giving up on the helmet until the specialist gives us the okay. I also tried to explain that she has made progress in physical therapy, but we've experienced a few setbacks recently and she has regressed. I'm not giving up on the physical therapy until the physical therapist gives us the okay. 


Patience is a virtue, a virtue have not always been able to adhere by. I need more patience to deal with the helmet and physical therapy. I recognize that I need to be more patient and I recognize that other people need to be patient with the decisions Ian and I make for Bella. Most parents wouldn't have wasted their time or money to correct the torticollis or the asymmetry of their child's head. It's time consuming and expensive. I know we made a good decisions to address both and I will continue to stand by our decisions. 


We cannot change the fact that we began treatment when Bella was 6-months-old, we are able to change Bella's physical health by continuing with treatment and we are hoping for the best results possible.


Sorry for such a somber post, but today was a very difficult day for us. Luckily, there is always hope that tomorrow will be better... and it will be. 


Love always,
Ian, Kim & Bella

Back to Reality

We've spent last week hauled up in our house due to being sick and since we're all finally feeling better, it's time to get back to reality. There is a house to clean, errands to be and a baby to be fed, changed, entertained and shuttled around from appointment to appointment. Since it's only Monday, I think we'll take it easy today and gradually reintroduce ourselves to society.


Daylight savings time is such a joke. Was it really necessary to spring forward an hour yesterday? Bella hasn't been affected too much by the time change. She is pretty much on her same schedule. Apparently 6:30am, means 6:30am to Bella. Her eating schedule and napping schedule is also the same. Haha! Daylight savings time, the joke is on you! 


Well I've got a baby to entertain and a house to clean. Not to mention loads and loads of laundry to do. It's amazing just how many pieces of laundry a baby accumulates over the course of a week. If only she could fold her own laundry and put it away...


Happy Monday y'all!


Love always,
Ian, Kim & Bella

Vitamin D

Since early February, we have been dealing with illness after illness. We're sick and tired of being sick and tired!


First, Bella had a nasty case of pink eye and we were prescribed her first antibiotic... eye drops. The girl is nearly one-year-old and has never been on antibiotics. I wasn't able to breastfeed and Bella received breast milk via bottles, per her choice. I pumped for quite some time and tried to get as much breast milk in her as I possibly could. I literally pumped myself dry in order to ensure she received as much breast milk as humanly possible. This little triumph in the land of illness is HUGE for me. My child has not had ONE ear infection, which is contrary to popular breastfeeding folklore.


Then Bella turned her nasty little bout of pink eye into a cold. A cold that she shared not only with me, but Grandma Ruth. A cold that none of us have been able to fully overcome. A cold that sent me to the doctor not once, but twice. A cold that we are still apparently battling...


Last week Bella spent a day in the ER and a morning in the pediatrician's office. She was diagnosed with Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease. Super. Just super. We spent the week at home and were social outcasts. Awesome. Just awesome. 


Then... oh yes, there is yet another THEN... Bella had a runny nose and a cough which she was so kind enough to share with me. It knocked me on my butt, yet again and I give up! Yes, I give up! Germs, you win! The Lashers lose! We're not worthy, we're not worthy! Please accept this as our white flag and we surrender. We are so sick and tired of being sick and tired that we surrender! 


As I write this tonight, I finally feel like a human again. Bella finally feels human again. We spent the day with friends at the Strawberry Festival and it felt great. The vitamin D we absorbed from the hot Florida sun did our bodies good. We finally feel human again! Yay! 


All of this being said... goodnight folks. The Lashers will be resting tonight and taking it easy, until our next big adventure begins!


Love always,
Ian, Kim & Bella

Let's Give a Round of Applause to...

Bella deserves a round of applause today. She has been such a sweetheart today and has given me a day to catch up on my life. My poor, feverish, snotty baby girl has been an absolute angel today. Not only did she sleep in until 7am, but she took a 2.5 hour nap from 10am-12:30pm! What a treat! After the rather restless night of sleep she had last night, I woke up today thinking that today was going to be a bear, but it wasn't and I am so very thankful. She played so well by herself this afternoon, I nearly forgot to put her down for her afternoon nap. She even went down for her afternoon nap without much of a fight and soothed herself to sleep. Thank you Bella!


Bella's napping and overall good behavior gave me time to organize our babysitter search. Today we received an application from a very nice, young woman and I have made plans to meet with her on Friday. We communicated back and forth today via email and she promptly answered every question I posed. She didn't have a background screening completed, but without asking, she completed a background screening through the website. She is really on the ball and I'm very excited to meet with her on Friday. We have high expectations for the new babysitter, as we were really spoiled by Miss Lauren. Hopefully the new babysitter can live up to these expectations. 


Since Miss Lauren told us she was moving, I've been filled with doubt and worry. I doubt that we will be able to find anyone as caring and trustworthy as she and I worry that I'll make a mistake in hiring a new babysitter. It's a different today than when I was growing up and I have to be very selective in hiring a babysitter. It took us nearly a month to get comfortable with Miss Lauren and I worry about starting the process all over again. I know I shouldn't worry and I should follow my instincts, but it's not that easy. Bella deserves the best and in our absence, she deserves the very best care. No one can take care of Bella like we can, I just want the same reassurance that Miss Lauren has given when taking care of Bella these past few months. 


I'm on borrowed time and I really need to start dinner because Ian will be home soon. We're having tacos tonight, so there isn't much preparation or clean up. I really enjoy meals that can be easily prepared and easily cleaned up. Oh, we're going to return to Dinner Done! in a few weeks and we'll have some new meals that are quick, easy and delicious... usually. 


Today has been a fabulous day and I just wanted to share it with everyone. Hope y'all have had a day as fabulous as mine. 


Love always,
Ian, Kim & Bella

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Poor little Bella... it seems as if she is falling apart. First the petechiae, then the HFM disease and now a cold? This poor child can't seem to catch a break! You would think with all these nasty illnesses, she'd be enrolled in daycare, but she's not. I have stayed at home with her since day one and will continue to stay at home with her until all the Lasher children are in school. It's a blessing to be able to stay at home with Bella and I cannot imagine having to balance a full-time career and motherhood. Working part-time from home and raising Bella keeps me more than busy.


Being a stay-at-home-mom is like being a jack-of-all-trades because today I have been: mom, nurse, entertainer, chef and maid (just to name a few). But actually staying AT home with an 11-month-old can lead to boredom for both Bella and me. We do not wish to spread the love of all these fun childhood illnesses, so we are opting to remain at home until Bella is feeling better. Today, I have pulled out every toy, every book in an attempt to keep Bella entertained. Until today, I forgot how much fun building with blocks can be... until I was building with blocks and Bella crawled over, giggled and proceeded to knock over my tower of blocks. 


Since October, we've had a babysitter, Miss Lauren, come to the house once a week for a few hours. I typically use this free time to catch up on housework or run errands without Bella in tow. Miss Lauren was the first babysitter we interviewed and she met every single one of our needs. She is a very loving and caring babysitter and I can tell that she genuinely cares about Bella. Unfortunately, Miss Lauren will be moving back to Cincinnati in a few weeks. We are really going to miss her and it's going to be difficult to replace her. She has earned our trust and that's not an easy task. Hopefully we can find a suitable replacement, who we can trust and who will care about Bella as much as Miss Lauren does. Hurry back to Tampa, Miss Lauren!


It's been a long day and it's going to be a long night for Ian, as he has some work to do. Luckily he is working from home, so we were able to eat dinner as a family and put Bella to bed. Busy season is no fun for Ian, Bella or me. This too shall pass, but in the meantime, we're all working hard around the Lasher house. Speaking of working, even little Bella is still awake. She is trying to battle the sandman and I can hear her on the monitor. Hopefully she falls asleep soon and is able to have a good night of sleep. She needs all the rest she can get these days, let's just hope she feels the same way I do. 


Love always,
Ian, Kim & Bella